Effective Date: July 13, 2026
Welcome to The Gift Autopsy (the "Site"), operated by Quinn Hollis ("we", "us", or "our"). We take your privacy seriously—even more seriously than Paul takes his bathroom drain grate purchases.
This Privacy Policy explains how we collect, use, disclose, and safeguard your information when you visit our website. Please read this policy carefully. If you do not agree with the terms, please do not access the Site.
1. Information We Collect
We may collect information about you in a variety of ways, including:
Personal Data: When you subscribe to our newsletter, leave a comment, or submit a "gift failure story," we may ask for your name and email address. You may visit the Site anonymously. We only collect personal data you voluntarily give us.
Derivative Data: Our servers automatically collect information such as your IP address, browser type, operating system, access times, and the pages you have viewed directly before and after accessing the Site.
Cookies & Tracking: We use cookies to enhance your experience, analyze site traffic, and remember your preferences. You can control cookies through your browser settings.
2. Use of Your Information
We use the information we collect to:
Operate, maintain, and improve our Site and content.
Send you periodic emails (if you opted in) regarding new Autopsy posts, Shelf of Shame updates, or other site news.
Respond to your comments, questions, and requests.
Analyze user behavior to better understand what gift failures resonate most (purely for journalistic curiosity).
3. Third-Party Disclosure & Affiliate Links
We believe in transparency: This Site contains affiliate marketing links (e.g., Amazon Associates). If you click on an affiliate link and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. These links are marked or embedded in our "What I'd Buy Instead" posts.
We do not sell, trade, or otherwise transfer your personally identifiable information to outside parties. This does not include trusted third parties who assist us in operating our website (like hosting providers or email marketing services), so long as those parties agree to keep this information confidential.
4. Comments & User Submissions
When you leave comments on the Site, we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.
If you submit a "gift failure story," please do not include full real names or sensitive personal information of the recipient without their consent. We reserve the right to edit and anonymize stories before publishing.
5. Data Security
We implement reasonable security measures to maintain the safety of your personal information. However, no method of transmission over the internet is 100% secure. While we strive to protect your data, we cannot guarantee absolute security.
6. Children’s Privacy
The Site is not directed to children under the age of 13. We do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from children under 13. If you are a parent or guardian and believe your child has provided us with personal information, please contact us immediately.
7. Changes to This Policy
We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. We will notify you of any changes by posting the new policy on this page with a new "Effective Date." You are advised to review this page periodically.
8. Contact Us
If you have questions or concerns about this Privacy Policy, you can reach me (Quinn) directly at:
Email: [email protected] (or just use the contact form on the Site – I promise I read every single one).